Shipwrecks, Part Two

Shipwrecks--Same Song, Next Verse

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed, in the "Maritime Sailors' Cathedral." The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald. The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they call "Gitche Gumee." "Superior," they said, "never gives up her dead when the gales of November come early!"

 Gordon Lightfoot
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald 

 SS Edmund Fitzgerald 

Remember the song by Gordon Lightfoot that tells the story of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?  It is based on the actual shipwreck of an iron ore vessel on Lake Superior on November 10, 1975. When asked about his music, Lightfoot said this was the most important piece for him because of the living tribe it gave to the crew.

We also carry our shipwrecks with us.  And unless we are able to understand them in new ways, they can prevent us from living fully in the present.  Not only did our ship sink in the past, we tell ourselves, but stand on watch to keep it from ever happening again.  


I started a piece yesterday and want to build on it.  The question was:  How do we keep the shipwrecks from past from wrecking the present….and the future for that matter?  The premise is that we all have filters or grids which channel and interpret our experiences.  As the experience filters, we interpret it.  What we think about the experience creates our feelings. 

Look at the diagram below.  This HEPA filter channels and eliminates the allergens—and it really works too!  As a result, our sensory system does not detect and react to the allergens.  Put a different filter in place—and watch out!  

 The point is that our shipwrecks from the past can become locked in place as our filter. It channels the information from similar experiences and can set off our warning alarm—fear fills us into panic.  However, change the filter and you no longer interpret the experience as a threat. 

Albert Ellis wrote a great book about this concept:  How to Keep People from Pushing our Buttons. His message is simple. Our experiences are neutral. Our filters send us the information which we define as the threat.  Two people can react entirely different to the same experience.  Case in point:  we know the sound of the dentist’s drill. We react differently if we are actually in the chair or if we hear something similar on TV.  It comes down to the filter. People don’t push our buttons.  The filter sets us up so that we push our own buttons.  

Example:  In the movie, Rudy, Dan Rudy beat incredible odds to enter Notre Dame and then make the football team.  His past “shipwreck” was that he could never measure up to family expectations.  In other words, his filter interprets his experiences as saying that he just cannot make it.  So he tries doubly hard.  He puts a different filter in place that interprets every challenge as a stepping stone to his goal.  Changing the filter changes his interpretation. 

However, at the end of his senior year, a new coach will not let him dress for the final game.  Dan had promised his father that if he came to the game, “you will see me run out of that tunnel.”  But now he is told that he won’t dress for the game.  The past shipwreck is back in full force—his ego is wrecked.  So he misses practice and is going to quit the team—“I am no good after all.”  When the stadium grounds manager finds him, Rudy explains that he “wanted to prove to his father” that he had made the team.  The manager replies—listen for how he enables Rudy to change the filter: 

Fortune: You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back.

What’s the key for changing the filter? Confront the negative thinking.  Challenge your irrational thoughts.  Who are you REALLY?  In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself.  Use that as your filter!  Tell yourself rational thoughts that you can accept.  Don’t get shipwrecked by the past!