How Full is your Bucket?

The Key to Life?

                 Reverse the Golden Rule

You gotta work with this one!  The Golden Rule says:  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  What’s wrong with that?  Why reverse it?  Well, in their book, How Full is your Bucket?, Tom Rath and Dr. Donald Clifton rewrite the Golden Rule as follows: 

"Do unto others as they would have you do unto them".

Think about this?  Does this mean, “give others what they want?”  Hmmm.   Try that one with a 5 year old—good luck!  Or, should it read, “give others what they NEED?”  I like that one much better.  Perhaps that works as long as you are clairvoyant enough to make that assessment.  

The basic premise of the book isn’t bad and too far off the mark.  We bless others by sharing affirmation.  True affirmation only comes from really listening to others and letting them know they have been heard.  This is not the same thing as giving people what they want and would like to hear.  What was that St. Paul said, “speak the truth in love?”  (Eph. 4:5) 

The book does offer some other strategies for “affirmative living.”

1. Prevent bucket dipping - ask yourself whether you are adding to or taking from another bucket.

2. Shine a light on what is right - don't focus on the negative, spend time, energy and attention of what is right.

3. Make best friends - great relationships lead to increased satisfaction

4. Give unexpectedly - the gifts can be material, trust or respect, but given unexpectedly increases their bucket filling power

5. Reverse the Golden rule - "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them".